A piece of writing by Dede about her experience at the ISA conference March 2011, six months after the death of her daughter.
"Here I am at the Camelback resort in Scottsdale, AZ, attending the ISA annual conference. Last year, I learned so much from my colleagues and peers I was bursting with enthusiasm and ideas for growing our company.
This year is different. It has not yet been six months since my daughter's death. I came back to my room in tears after attending the morning session. Nothing in particular had unhinged me. Or was it Bev tenderly touching my hair and telling me how sorry she is? Was it the look of shock and compassion in Jeff's eyes as I shared with him what had happened? Was it Sean's courage in joining me at an otherwise empty lunch table, perhaps knowing the conversation would be hard?
Perhaps it is too soon. or perhaps it is not. There is no instruction book that goes with grieving the loss of a child. What would it say? "Stay close to home for the first six months?" Or, "Do not attempt to mingle in a "meet and greet" crowd of 50 or greater for the first year?" No. This is a wilderness that each of us navigates one footfall at a time. Finding here the soil is steady, here it falls away like sand. Patience is called for. A willingness to slow down, then slow down even more.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls this being, "Instinct injured." The old reliability and ways of knowing myself are gone for now. I do not know what comes next in this terrain. I bow to my own courage in coming."
I, along with many others, honor her courage, her perseverance and her ongoing commitment to the delivery of transformational leadership development. In the wake of grief she has continued to step fully into being a leader of our company, launched The Carly Henley Project, walked unknown terrain, and has repeatedly chosen to believe that indeed "Love Wins".
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