Gaining Mental Mastery

by Dede Henley

Mental mastery is one of the hallmarks of a leader. Our minds can be like untrained puppies – we put them on the paper to pee and they wander off, just like that. We pick them up, put them back on the paper and they wander off again! It wouldn’t help to yell at the puppy or be angry. Our job as loving beings is to pick the puppy up over and over again and put her back on the paper, until she gets the hang of it and learns to stay on the paper at your command. We are training our minds, just the same.

This is a critical skill for leaders. We must have well-trained minds. I heard a saying recently, “The mind is like a wild animal. It is a wise man who takes the time to tame it.” We must be able to still ourselves in the midst of anything in order to listen deeply, to intuit meaning, to know what action would move a conversation or a project forward.

“Sitting” helps you gain this mastery. Sitting is simple, and because of that it can be difficult to do – sometimes we want to make it harder than it is. It is impossible to do wrong, if done with sincerity. And it is very tempting to continually assess ourselves, or harshly judge ourselves. Sitting is a practice of observation, in acceptance, in compassion, in stillness, and in discovering our true nature. You do not have to believe anything to sit – it does not exclude any religion.

When sitting, just notice your thoughts and let them go, bringing your attention back to the breath at either the tip of your nose, the rise and fall of your chest, or the expansion and contraction of your belly. Sitting allows us to quiet down the mind, the body, the heart, and to focus on only one thing – the breath.

This practice comes from my friends at New Ventures West Coaching School. Here's how to do it:

1. Sit up straight in a chair with your feet flat on the floor.

2. Either close your eyes or gaze at a spot on the floor 6-8 feet in front of you.

3. Bring your awareness to your breath – either in your abdomen as it rises and falls, or at the tip of your nostrils where the air enters and leaves your nose. Select the area you are most aware of. Do not change your breathing, just begin to observe it. Do not change areas of attention. Pick one and stick with it.

4. Say quietly to yourself “in” when you inhale, and “out” when you exhale. Between breaths, bring your attention to the points where your body touches the chair, and where your feet touch the floor.

5. Focus all of your attention on your breath. If you find your attention wandering, simply say “thought” to yourself and bring your attention back to your breathing. You may wish to label the thoughts as “planning,” “remembering,” “imagining,” “worrying,” and so on.

6. Acknowledge any sensations in your body, saying the word “sensation” and returning your attention to your breathing. Do the same with any emotions that may occur.

Begin by sitting just five minutes a day. See if you can build up to sitting for up to 20 minutes a day and reap the rewards of mastering your mind.

Poetry and Leadership

by Shanon Olsen


When a member of my team was completing her degree in Organizational Development, one of the biggest stretches her advisor offered her was this: to take a poetry class. In that moment she heard herself say, "What does poetry have to do with leadership, let alone the world of Organizational Development?"

David Whyte, a world renowned poet in the field of vocation, work, and organizational leadership, says this: "In organizational settings, using poetry and thoughtful commentary can foster qualities of courage and engagement; qualities needed if we are to respond to today’s call for increased creativity and adaptability in the workplace."

We use poetry in our trainings and retreats as a way to slow down and listen more intently to ourselves and surroundings. In many ways, the writing of poetry can be seen as a lens through which we interpret and describe the world, painting a powerful picture of our emotions, perspectives, relationships, and even how we show up as a leader. The act of writing poetry can support the defining of experiences that we may not otherwise know how to describe. Writing poetry challenges us to move from our overused pragmatic, linear, and concrete left brain into the more creative, timeless, and intuitive right brain. Poetry can move us quickly from intellect to emotion, ground us in our heart and values, and remind us of the power of language -- all of which are useful for great leaders.
 
We challenge you to be poetic, put pen to paper, and be willing to be surprised by the words you find yourself writing. We invite you to consider what this practice could give you access to. Slow down enough to listen to the voice within that has such a great deal to say.
 
Here is a poem we received from a Yahoo Group we subscribe to called Panhala. We are grateful for this daily dose of poetry.  

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

~ John O'Donohue ~

Willful Blindness

by Carol Zizzo


We recently saw one of our favorite authors, Margaret Heffernan, author of Willful Blindness, present to 650 women executives at the annual Women Presidents Organization conference in Vancouver, B.C. Inspiring and terrifying, her message is good reason to pause and consider one’s own culpability in “willful blindness” through habits and beliefs in our workplace. Here are a few to consider.

Multi tasking: It’s an urban myth. We ask our brains to do things that science has proven it cannot do. Yet we insist on believing and acting as though they can. What do you believe?

Being Fatigued: Working long hours, getting poor quality or too little sleep, and taking on too much work result in moving glucose from the part of our brain used for critical thinking and data sorting to simply keeping us awake. We may recognize the problem, but will not know how to solve it. How often are you tired?

Unexamined Mental Models: Lack of dedicated time to examine our key orthodoxies leads to intolerance of opposing ideas and unconscious dismissal of what does not fit our ideology or reality. We alleviate our discomfort with dissonance by eliminating information that we don’t understand. What mental models prevent you from seeing true problems or their solutions?

Organizational Silos: Heffernan cited a recent study showing that 85% of employees know there are serious workplace issues, but will not speak up for fear of retribution. We hire smart people and train them to shut up. What is it like where you work?

Obedience: If we believe that the CEO is the ultimate authority, we are less likely to challenge and more likely to comply. Heffernan’s research indicates that over time, employees will shift from doing what is right to doing what will please. Have you had this experience in your career?

Bystander Theory: The greater the number of people who witness something going wrong, the less likely it is that someone will do something to stop it. We allow gossip to feel like action rather than recognizing it as a diffusion of accountability. Where does your human need to belong and get along triumph over causing positive change?

Examining your “eyesight” regularly for these instances of willful blindness can lead to clear vision and foresight!

Five Tips to Surprise and Delight Customers

by Dede Henley

In our leadership development consulting firm, we frequently have conversations about how we might “surprise and delight” our clients. It’s a fun conversation to have – to think about what would be a great surprise for our sophisticated clients. Recently, I had an experience of being delighted by great customer service.

I am still knee-deep in The Carly Henley Project, fulfilling on promises made to our contributors on Kickstarter.com. We promised to produce CDs, t-shirts, and a video, among other things. Over the past six months, we have had a great team of people working to create these deliverables — all except for the video.

I couldn’t get my arms around it. We had hundreds of hours of video and thousands of photos. Sorting through it all and choosing the best to include on a DVD seemed overwhelming.

This is where Molly Bullard of Seattle Photo Organizing came in. After my initial request for her help, she provided me with three options for working together. But after listening further to my needs, she referred me to a competitor, Scan My Photos. I had over 4,000 photos, and they provide volume scanning at a low price. Molly heard my need and figured out how to meet it. Wow!

But Molly didn’t stop there. She checked back with me about two weeks later, wanting to know how the scanned photos turned out. This delighted me, because I had given my business to another service provider, yet she wasn’t disappointed — she was interested in my experience of their service!

She wanted to know if I needed further help with the project. We didn’t. But when our video project fell through about a month later, I was surprised and delighted to receive yet another gracious message from Molly Bullard. She was just checking in on the project. She had ideas about how to do the video fast and inexpensively. I hired her and she has delivered a wonderful video that we can share with our friends and family.

So, what I have I learned from Molly about extraordinary service?

1. Be helpful — even if there's no immediate profit in it. Take the long view; things change and opportunities open when you least expect it. Don’t be disappointed when one opportunity goes away. There may be others.

2. Really care about the people you serve. This can provide the sustained motivation to stay connected, even when there doesn’t seem to be an immediate need for your product or service.

3. Stay in touch in generous, light-hearted, and creative ways. This helps people to remember you are there and ready to serve.

4. Listen. Molly listened to my story of what the project was for and why it mattered to all of us. She got it all.

5. Give more than is expected. Molly has worked side-by-side with me to minimize the cost of the video. She has been generous with her time and her talent.

Surprising and delighting customers is not only good business, it feels good and can lead to surprising, delightful, and unexpected results—such as this post, which could lead many new customers directly to Molly’s door.

Who could you surprise and delight this week?