As a Leader, What is Your "Primary Aim?"

Some years ago, Peter Drucker said,” One of the central challenges facing leaders today is that they are not taking the time to think the big thoughts.” I’m just returning from a three-day retreat at the Whidbey Institute (a lovely place to retreat) where my business partner and I were able to think all kinds of “big thoughts” about our business and where we are headed. It is daunting to lay down all of the “small” stuff for three days and tuck away out of cell phone and Internet range. But I believe it is critical to do so.

We had a road-map to follow on our retreat: a book by Michael Gerber called, “The E Myth Revisted.” Through his writing, he encouraged us to consider our “Primary Aim.” To get to this, we asked ourselves questions such as, “What do I wish my life to look like? What would I like to be able to say I truly know in my life, about my life? What would I like to be doing two years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now?”

These “Big Thoughts” helped us to get very clear about what our business will be now and over the next five years. Surprisingly, I was able to identify what Michael calls my “Primary Aim”: to create a stable, happy family. I could see that I had chosen my line of work, consulting, out of my commitment to my children. I wanted to be available to them as much as possible during their growing up days. I had a home office for many years and later, an office very near to our home. My family has been a big part of all of the choices I’ve made as it regards my work.

This clarity is a relief to me – like a cool drink of water. Once I named what I most care about, I could see how I have been working with leaders of organizations to help them create happy, stable places for people to work. We have trained leaders across North America in the Power of Appreciation, Generous Listening, and Clean Communication. We have worked hard to support teams in working well together; all an extension of my Primary Aim.

We returned from our retreat inspired, engaged and ready to lead our small consulting business into the future. Our “business” retreat positively impacted my personal life as well – I returned so grateful for the opportunity to be a member of my family. And professionally, I am excited to share with our team what we have learned and imagined.

If you are a leader of a small or big business, I challenge you to “retreat” from the day-to-day and take the time to think the “big thoughts.”

Can you accept it, enjoy it or best of all, be enthused about it?

In light of the devastating mess washing up on the shores of our nation, it’s a good time to look to see what kind of messes we are making ourselves, unconsciously.  When faced with challenges, most of us default to the easy stuff, complaining, being annoyed, getting cranky.  In other words, we create suffering for ourselves and others.  Now, I know you are NOT committed to creating messes and suffering.  So how to avoid this?  Author Ekhart Tolle describes three possible responses to any circumstance that allow us to stay in our power and presence. These are the states of acceptance, enjoyment or enthusiasm.  Let’s look at each of these states in turn. 

Even if there is something you do not enjoy doing, you can at least accept that this is what you have to do.  Acceptance means this: “for now, this is what this situation, this moment, requires me to do and so I do it willingly.”  Taking an action from acceptance means you are at peace while you do it.  You do not complain.  This state will be a wonderful relief to those that work and live with you!   If you cannot bring acceptance to what you do – stop.  Do not continue to cause suffering for yourself and others.  This is a way you can take great care of those around while at the same time taking care of yourself.

The second state is of enjoyment. You gain a sense of aliveness when you actually enjoy what you are doing.  You will enjoy any activity in which you are fully present, where the activity is not just a means to an end.  This could include routine, everyday activities, like paperwork, email, etc. See if you can’t bring a sense of joy to these activities.  Enjoy them.  Is it possible?  Do you have the ability to bring joy even to routine activities?

The third and most fun state is enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm means there is a deep enjoyment in what you do plus the added element of a goal or a vision that you work toward.   For example, as a leader, you may have a goal of helping to fulfill on the vision of your organization.  If you keep this vision in mind and know that your actions and words and behaviors can and do add up to this outcome, you will bring enthusiasm to your leadership.  You are doing something important. You are involved in the act of creation. You will feel like an arrow that is moving towards its target.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great has ever been achieved without enthusiasm. With enthusiasm, you will find that you don’t have to do it all by yourself.  In fact, there is nothing of significance that you can do by yourself.  Sustained enthusiasm brings into existence a wave of creative energy, and all you have to do then is “ride the wave.”  Enthusiasm brings abundance. 

If you are not in the state of acceptance, enjoyment or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others.  So, I ask you, are you adding to the mess, or cleaning it up?