Gaining Mental Mastery

by Dede Henley

Mental mastery is one of the hallmarks of a leader. Our minds can be like untrained puppies – we put them on the paper to pee and they wander off, just like that. We pick them up, put them back on the paper and they wander off again! It wouldn’t help to yell at the puppy or be angry. Our job as loving beings is to pick the puppy up over and over again and put her back on the paper, until she gets the hang of it and learns to stay on the paper at your command. We are training our minds, just the same.

This is a critical skill for leaders. We must have well-trained minds. I heard a saying recently, “The mind is like a wild animal. It is a wise man who takes the time to tame it.” We must be able to still ourselves in the midst of anything in order to listen deeply, to intuit meaning, to know what action would move a conversation or a project forward.

“Sitting” helps you gain this mastery. Sitting is simple, and because of that it can be difficult to do – sometimes we want to make it harder than it is. It is impossible to do wrong, if done with sincerity. And it is very tempting to continually assess ourselves, or harshly judge ourselves. Sitting is a practice of observation, in acceptance, in compassion, in stillness, and in discovering our true nature. You do not have to believe anything to sit – it does not exclude any religion.

When sitting, just notice your thoughts and let them go, bringing your attention back to the breath at either the tip of your nose, the rise and fall of your chest, or the expansion and contraction of your belly. Sitting allows us to quiet down the mind, the body, the heart, and to focus on only one thing – the breath.

This practice comes from my friends at New Ventures West Coaching School. Here's how to do it:

1. Sit up straight in a chair with your feet flat on the floor.

2. Either close your eyes or gaze at a spot on the floor 6-8 feet in front of you.

3. Bring your awareness to your breath – either in your abdomen as it rises and falls, or at the tip of your nostrils where the air enters and leaves your nose. Select the area you are most aware of. Do not change your breathing, just begin to observe it. Do not change areas of attention. Pick one and stick with it.

4. Say quietly to yourself “in” when you inhale, and “out” when you exhale. Between breaths, bring your attention to the points where your body touches the chair, and where your feet touch the floor.

5. Focus all of your attention on your breath. If you find your attention wandering, simply say “thought” to yourself and bring your attention back to your breathing. You may wish to label the thoughts as “planning,” “remembering,” “imagining,” “worrying,” and so on.

6. Acknowledge any sensations in your body, saying the word “sensation” and returning your attention to your breathing. Do the same with any emotions that may occur.

Begin by sitting just five minutes a day. See if you can build up to sitting for up to 20 minutes a day and reap the rewards of mastering your mind.