Leadership depends on the quality of relationships, and here at The Dede Henley Group, we encourage leaders to be authentic with their emotions in order to build trust. Much has been written about emotional intelligence (EQ) and emotional literacy. The key factors are: know your own emotions, empathize with others, and manage your response to emotions. Emotions play a significant and often unspoken role in organizations, and a powerful way to develop greater EQ is to challenge common beliefs about feelings in the workplace.
Myth #1: Feelings don’t belong in the workplace.
Your feelings go everywhere we go. You can choose how transparent to be about them. Your body language probably communicates your feelings more than you realize, and being up front about what you are feeling validates your co-workers’ experience of you. Being honest about emotional reactions creates opportunities for co-workers to know and understand you better, and also signals to your team that it’s safe for them to have their feelings.
Myth #2: There are bad feelings.
Emotions are neither good nor bad. They simply are what they are: a bodily response to your interpretation of your surroundings. When you judge your feelings as being bad or wrong, you make yourself wrong for having the feeling. Consider that emotions are raw data indicating that you might want to pay closer attention to something. Feelings remind you to check in with your intuition.
Myth #3: You can control your feelings.
Your body often decides for you what you feel, when, and how intensely. What you can change are the thoughts that generate and intensify your feelings. You can also separate your feelings from your behaviors, and consciously respond to the feelings you are having. The word emotion is based on the Latin emovere, meaning "move out.” Allow your feelings to move through you, and be intentional about your actions. Sometimes it can be as simple as saying, “I’m sad.” This may also positively impact your physical health.
Myth #4: Feelings are caused by other people.
You may say things like “she made me mad,” or “I might make him mad.” Remember, you don’t have the power to control someone else’s emotions. At times, you may not even be able to control your own! Feelings are mostly created by thoughts and beliefs, and there’s evidence that energy stored in your body from past experiences can also trigger emotions. Take care of your own feelings, and let others can take care of theirs.
The vitality of an organization can be measured by the amount of trust among the relationships of the people within it. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to model what it takes to build strong, trusting relationships. You also have the opportunity to foster a culture in your organization that allows others the safety and freedom to be themselves. Disrupt these four myths and you are well on your way to a more trusting, healthy and therefore productive organization.
Extremely well said.
ReplyDeleteAnd these insights have the potential to achieve nothing less than the bright awakening of an entity's soul; i.e., the purpose-minded, vitality, (that I experience as a subset of the collective conciousness), cyclically forming and reforming, in every workplace.
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The more trust you have in relationship, the more authenticity grows; the more authenticity you have in relationship, the more freedom grows. And the freer you are, the truer you are; and your truth is genious.